Taking Bangkok's knickers down and spanking its bare bottom

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

SHE IS A PRETTY THAI GIRL.
THAI WOMEN ARE SEXY, AND
ALL THE OTHER TYPES OF
ASIAN WOMEN.

NJW says:

".........an online community with a prurient interest in Bangkok sleaze............"

Said it yourself, David.

(Is this a better place, do you think?)

David says:

NJW - I've never claimed otherwise. Exactly what point are you trying to make? - David.

NJW says:

"We come on this website to hear about Thailand........" said theGeneral.

Well, mate, you won't find out much about Thailand here. You'll read a lot about sad westerners who never leave Nana, except to go to Sukhumvit or Soi Cowboy or Patpong, but that's about it.

Posted by NJW | May 19, 2004 04:26 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NJW - There are plenty of dreary websites that answer to this description but I'm puzzled as to why you think that Mango Sauce is no different. Please explain - David.

Posted by David | May 19, 2004 04:43 PM

__________________________________________

Just giving you the explanation you asked for, old boy.

David says:

NJW

Mango Sauce ventures outside the go-go bar more often than you give me credit for but I make no apologies for featuring nightlife content too. It's a well-established part of farang life here and to ignore it would be silly.

It seems that Mr Peter was right about your attitude. If you want me to believe that you are a better and more knowledgeable person than the rest of us please leave a few insightful (and/or witty) comments. Describing your fun-loving fellow farangs as "sad westerners who never leave Nana, except to go to Sukhumvit or Soi Cowboy or Patpong" makes you sound condescending rather than well-informed.

David

TANAI KWAI says:

NJW,

Surely a person of your illustrious tastes has better things to do. Leave us to our unrefined philistinism and whoring.

You have duly exposed us and demonstrated your superiority in your wonderfully entertaining contests with our greatest champion, mr. peter. (And I have no doubt that if David ever stopped respond to your razor-sharp jabs with both hands tied behind his back you'd really show him who's boss as well.)

I understand www.there'smuchmoretothailandthanwomanlybeautyandintensephysicalpleasure.com is now accepting posts.

(winky)

NJW says:

Why do sites such as this, and their regular contributors, who love taking the piss out of others, get all huffy when the tables are turned?

If you can't take it, don't dish it out!

All this, from one critical comment I posted this afternoon!

TK, to respond to you in the manner of your post:
"My dad can beat up your dad! Yah! Boo!"

Now you can pick up your bat and ball and go home.

David says:

NJW - I assume that you are addressing that comment to yourself - David.

TANAI KWAI says:

NJW,

You miss my point entirely. You assert this site has no redeeming value yet you while away the hours digesting its content just like the rest of the oversexed slobs.

For most fun-loving readers, this place is a bit of entertainment in this vale of tears. For you, the haughty and unentertained, your participation can only be regarded as an attempt to deal with an ego deficit by lashing out at misguided expats who do not follow, nor aspire to follow, your grim, ascetic lifestyle.

(I am suddenly reminded of Nietzsche's critique of Christianity as an especially vindictive religion but, as you know, I'd rather bring the topic back around to vaginas as soon as possible. Thanks for your cooperation.)

(winky)

NJW says:

TK, if I may, call you that, I'm afraid 'tis you that's missed the point. My second posting this pm read:

"Should add, David, that I'm not knocking your site, it's one of the better ones at what it does and can be amusing and entertaining. But it's not about the real Thailand, is it?

Posted by NJW | May 19, 2004 05:46 PM "

But I'm afraid that even gentle criticism is too much for some egos to bear. I guess I'll have to stick to Stickie in future. (Sorry about the pun!)

Nothing more to add, so I'll leave the last word on this to who ever feels the need..............

TANAI KWAI says:

NJW,

Uh, yeah, I caught your damnation by faint praise. I wouldn't go patting yourself on the back for backhanded compliments. (Sorry about the marvelously witty pun!)

Point is, you're a priggish sort who purports to possess a great connossieurship and a highly educated cultural palate. Yet you've said nothing to reflect that.

Gotta love these guys who mouth off then when you expose them they say, "Well, I won't even respond to the next comment made because I won't even read your next post -- I'm off to Stickyland!" Or the STUF'D special: "If you're half the man you say you are then you won't respond to this, my final moronic slag."

(oy vey)

NJW says:

"Point is, you're a priggish sort who purports to possess a great connossieurship and a highly educated cultural palate. Yet you've said nothing to reflect that."

As far as I'm aware, I also haven't said anything to indicate that I am as you describe. But thanks for the compliment anyway!

Please explain, in what way, exactly, have you "exposed" me. I did come out of the bogs in the Londoner last Friday night having forgotten to close my fly. Is that what you mean?

(Oh shit, I wasn't going to post again, never mind, damned if I do and damned if I don't.)

Cynic says:

I like Ernesto Ortega

Yes But says:

Yes but, Ernesto likes Asian babes.

Cynic says:

NJW

The Londoner - so you're one of the clowns who marry rich, ugly Chinese girls, get them to set you up in a useless business and then proceed to look down on the less affluent members of the ex-pat community?

Nice work if you can get it.

NJW says:

Cynic,

Why dont you just stick to polishing Ernesto's butt?

So, when I'm looking down at you, I'd rather see 2 heads than one.

Cynic says:

I hit the mark didn't I?

NJW says:

Hit the mark, Cynic? Maybe you did with the aresehole who posted at 2:38 pretending to be me, but water off a ducks back, old boy, to the real me.

CYNIC says:

Seriously, NJW - don't you have other things to do than walking around Londoner with your exposed weenie?

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

HEY LOOK HERE, NOBODY IS GOING TO POLISH MY ASS. YOU GOT THAT

ERNESTO ORTEGA FAN CLUB says:

Viva ORTEGA!

NJW says:

"Seriously, NJW - don't you have other things to do than walking around Londoner with your exposed weenie?

Posted by CYNIC | May 20, 2004 03:24 PM "

I can only assume that your member is small enough for it's little head to be poking out when you leave the door open, Cynic. But for us more normally endowed, he's safely tucked down the appropriate trouser leg.

I can imagine the conversation when you are being measured for a suit:

Tailor:- Which side do you dress, sir?
Cynic:- Well........it sort of just hangs in the middle.
Tailor:- Never mind, I'm sure sir has other talents.

TANAI KWAI says:

ERNESTO:

I LIKE HOW YOU PUT EVERYTHING IN CAPS. IT REALLY MAKES IT EASY TO UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE ABOUT BEING A 100% STRAIGHT MAN WHO LIKES BIG BREASTS. DON'T EVER CHANGE.

NJW:

Good one! What a zinger! If I understand you correctly, your penis is large and Cynic's penis is small, right? Holy cow, how do you come up with these?

Keep 'em coming, friend!

(winky)

CYNIC says:

NJW,

When you went to the tailor for your trousers the conversation went like this:

NJW: Make them fit perfectly - I need room for my balls.

Tailor (after measuring):- Sir - I'll make them with enough space like the grand ballroom at the Eiffel Tower?

NJW:- But.. I never heard of them having a ballroom at the Tower. In fact, there's never been a need for a ballroom at the Eiffel Tower .

Tailor:- Exactly, sir!

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

TANAI KWAI,

I AM GLAD YOU LIKE MY STYLE MAN. WHAT CAN I SAY? ONLY EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE SOMEONE LIKE YOU SHOWS UP. [DREAM] IF ONLY YOU WERE A GIRL WITH BIG BREASTS?

CHILL OUT MAN,
EO

TANAI KWAI says:

Sorry to have intruded on that. I was entirely unaware of this rich tradition of tailor-client humor.

I do, however, remember an old joke ending about the guy who'd sought in vain for a cure to his brutal headaches, finally submitting to castration as a radical but successful treatment. Having lost interest in women he takes up travel and encounters a master tailor in Italy who, after only a second's glance began to tick off the man's measurements with precise accuracy, from socks to hat size.

But when the tailor tells the guy he needs a size 38" in underwear our eunuch smugly protests that the tailor finally got one wrong -- that, in fact, he only wears a size 36".

You know the rest.*

(winky)

[*"A 36"? If you weara da 36" you gonna getta da headaches!"]

Cynic says:

Regarding 'my' last two posts, in the words of the great philosopher Shaggy - "It wasn't me!"

Though after that last tailor gag, I may have to pass the mantle on to the new Cynic.

Cynic says:

What's happening to me here?

I'm even complimenting myself!!!

(blinky)

tonychang says:

ohh, suits you sir.....etc,etc...

ERNESTO ORTEGA'S TAILOR says:

I OBJECT TO ALL THE TAILOR JOKES ON THIS SITE. WHAT IF THEY DON'T HAVE BALLS AT THE EIFFEL TOWER? WE LOVE ASIAN BALLS AND OUR HANDMADE SUITS ARE PROOF OF THAT!

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

TANAI KWAI:

I DIDN'T PUT THAT COMMENT ABOUT [IF YOU WERE A GIRL]. THAT'S SOMEBODY ELSE BUT PUTTING MY NAME ON IT. THIS IS THE REAL ERNESTO ORTEGA COMMENTING TO YOU. I DON'T HAVE A TAILOR, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON? I JUST SAID THAT THIS WOMAN WAS PRETTY, THEN SOMEBODY PUT DOWN :WHY DON'T YOU POLISH ERNESTO'S ASS:. I PUT THAT :NOBODY NEEDS TO POLISH MY ASS:. THATS WAS IT

NJW says:

I can see that this is going to turn into a movie.

I am Spartacus!

Or, if you prefer;

I am Brian, and so is my wife!

TANAI KWAI says:

NOT TO WORRY ERNESTO.

(WINKY)

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

TANAI KWAI,

NOW YOU REALLY TEST ME WITH ALL THOSE WINKY'S!

I AM NOT THE GUY WHO CLAIMS TO BE THE REAL ERNESTO ORTEGA. HOW CAN I LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT A TAILOR. THERES NO FEELING LIKE HAVING A TAILOR MEASURE YOU UP.

I HEAR ASIAN WOMEN GO FOR WELL-TAILORED GUYS. JUST LOOK AT THOSE TAILOR SHOPS ON SUKHUMVIT.

TANAIKWAI says:

Look Ernesto, I'm really getting tired of your shit. First you told me you'd meet me in the stairwell at Nana Plaza, then you don't show up and leave obscene messages on my mothers mobile phone:

"Hannah, where the fuck are you? There's four toey humans in the cab. It's twenty to four. Our cocks are fat and fuckin' ready to spurt sauce and you're in bed. Fuck me. Fire up, you sad cunt."

Totally unnacceptable. And to think I thought we could've been a team.

TANAI KWAI says:

ERNESTO:

That was obviously not me.

Speaking of mothers, his must beam with pride.

(icky)

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

TANAI,

AS YOU SAID BEFORE - NOT TO WORRY!

BY THE WAY, IS YOUR MOTHER'S NAME REALLY - HANNAH?

EO

TANAI KWAI says:

ERNESTO Imposter:

Kindly fuck off.

(many thanks)

ERNESTO IMPOSTER says:

TK,

I'M NOT KIND AND I WONT FUCK OFF. IF YOU DONT LIKE MY POSTS DONT READ 'EM.

DIDN'T YOU SAY FIRST THAT YOU LIKED MY POSTS CAPS.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THIS IS YOUR PERSONAL DOMAIN?

AND YES, I LOVE ASIAN WOMEN AND I HAVE A TAILOR.

EI

Cynic says:

Ernesto:

You charismatic spic gangster, save your switchblade smile for some other poor mark. I'll will never forget how you left me brutalised and humiliated and sobbing on the pillow while you bragged about your conquest with your sleazy friends. It was that night that the name Ortega came to take on an unnutterable obsceneness, that will require eons to remove its stench.

Viva la raza.

Cynic says:

Ernesto,
Sorry, but I would like to clarify that the posting at 02.24 was by someone else using my handle. There's been several Cynic's online recently and this seems to be one of them. It could be Tanai Kwai in an alter ego! Take care,
Cheers,
Cynic

Cynic says:

Ernesto my friend, both previous postings were fakes. I am the one and only Cynic.

Cynic says:

Why dont we settle this once and for all? I am the real Cynic and I can prove it because I have some "real" e-mail id's.

cynic@hotmail.com or yahoo.com or whatever.com.

Cynic says:

You bitch, I can still remember the smell of you on Ernesto's clothes

Cynic says:

Why, do you do his laundry?

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

TANAI KWAI AND CYNIC: THERE ARE A LOT OF COMMENTS THAT HAVE MY NAME ON THEM. ITS NOT ME PUTTING THOSE COMMENTS, YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T TALK SHIT ABOUT YOU 2 OR ANYONE. I AM THE [REAL ERNESTO ORTEGA]. SOMEBODY PUT DOWN 'WHY DON'T YOU DO HIS LAUNDRY' WELL NOBODY NEEDS TO DO MY LAUNDRY. I CAN MANAGE IT MYSELF

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

TO THE IMPOSTER WHO POSTED AT 12:14PM,

I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ERNESTO ORTEGA. YOU CAN VERIFY IT WITH MY TAILOR, SISTER AND FAN CLUB. GET A REAL IDENTITY FOR YOURSELF MY FRIEND AND DONT ENCROACH ON MINE!

I WELCOME ANYONE TO DO MY LAUNDRY. JUST COME IN ONCE A YEAR AT THE END OF AUTUMN. THATS WHEN I HAVE MY ANNUAL BATH BEFORE HIBERNATING FOR THE WINTER.

CYNIC says:

Ernesto, I used to treat you like a lady, now you're a substitute teacher.

Still, if that other fake Cynic talks shit about my man Ernesto, you'll end up with a face like smashed crab.

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

I AM THE REAL ERNESTO ORTEGA, AND NOBODY ELSE IS. THE ONE THAT SIGNED ON AT May 26, 2004 12:57 PM IS OBVIOUSLY A FAKE. THE REAL ERNESTO DOESN'T HAVE A TAILOR, AND A FAN CLUB. SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ME, SO A FAN CLUB MEANS NOTHING. WHOS FACE ARE YOU GOING TO SMASH, MINE OR THE FACE CYNIC?

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

THIS IS THE REAL ERNESTO TALKING, THERE WAS A TYPO IN MY MESSAGE. WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS WHOS FACE ARE YOU GOING TO SMASH, MINE OR THE FAKE CYNIC? I HOPE ITS NOT MINE

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

HI, IT'S ME AGAIN. SORRY ABOUT THE PREVIOUS TWO POSTINGS, JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY AS USUAL AND THE THOUGHT'S DID NOT CONNECT TO THE TYPING. CYNIC, YOUR IDEA SOUNDS SMASHING - I LOVE IT! DO ME,

EO

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

THE PERSON THAT SIGNED ON AT May 27, 2004 03:23 PM IS ANOTHER FAKE ERNESTO. I NEVER END MY COMMENTS WITH [EO], THE EMAIL IS WRONG, AND WHY WOULD I WANT SOMEBODY TO HURT ME? I AM THE AUTHENTIC ERNESTO ORTEGA, AND NOBODY ELSE IS. I DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THE 2 POSTINGS I MADE, THE ONLY THING THAT I DO APOLOGIZE IS THE WRONG WORD THAT I PUT DOWN. THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

PLEASE BE AWARE THAT ALL PREVIOUS POSTINGS MADE ON THIS SITE ARE FALSIFIED. I AM ERNESTO (CHE) ORTEGA AND I HAVE NO OPINION EITHER WAY ON THE SEXUAL ORIGINS OF THAI PORNOGRAPHY ACTRESS LUCI THAI.

MY WORK IS OF MUCH GREATER SIGNIFICANCE WHICH YOU CAN SEE BY VISITING MY SITE. THE ESTABLISHED SCIENTIFIC THOUGHT POLICE HAVE SOUGHT TO PREVENT MY LIBERATING THEORY OF TIME AND EXISTENCE TO REACH THE EARS OF THE MASSES. THEY WISH TO KEEP YOU ALL IN A STATE OF SUPREME IGNORANCE.

I HAVE MADE THE MOST PROFOUND PHILOSOPHICAL AND SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE SHORT HISTORY OF HUMANKIND

THIS IS DR ERNESTO (CHE) ORTEGA, SIGNING OUT.

ALL HAIL THE TIMECUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

PEOPLE SAY TO ME - "ERNESTO, WHY DID YOU PUSH YOUR WIFE OFF A CLIFF ? AND I SAY "TEQUILLA"

AND BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE BIG TITS

ERNESTO ORTEGA says:

IF YOU CAN READ THIS - THE BITCH FELL OFF (A CLIFF).

EO

James Samui says:

Well David

I have only just discoverd your site but i have read every bit of it (yes i think i'm hooked)
I go to Thailand a lot and my father is married to a Thai lady (who he met in england and has more money than him) through her family of wealthy buisness men/women and top police cheifs.
I have seen so many fall from a great hight out there thinking that the signs are right and that it trul is amazing Thailand.
The only thing amazing there apart from the beutiful land scapes (who am i kidding i mean the whoring) is how quick you can lose everything including what you thought were your friends (Thais) still your site is at least a start in trying to teach Ferrangs that they are in Thai LAND Not FERRANG LAND.

Keep up the good work

mr peter says:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANGO SAUCE-peter