June 6 2007
Mango Sauce
Readers who've been admiring the Laotian rock rat for the past three weeks are probably wondering what's happened to me. Amongst other things, I've been pondering the future of this site.
Mango Sauce has welcomed literally millions of visitors over the years but, since Google AdSense pulled the plug, my once-healthy advertising income has dwindled to almost nothing. New advertisers have proved hard to find and, despite its enduring popularity, the site is commercially dead in the water.
Writing Mango Sauce has always been great fun but unless I pull my finger out and start earning some money, I'm going to end up sleeping in a dirt soi surrounded by scabby dogs and bottles of my own urine.
February 15 2007
Mango Sauce returns in a couple of weeks
A well-connected reader has discovered why Google applied sanctions to Mango Sauce and I've already taken the necessary steps to get them lifted. Visitor traffic is returning and, at this rate, things should be back to normal in a couple of weeks.
At the moment, I'm busy shepherding my elderly parents around Thailand's non-sleazy tourist spots. However, if Suvarnabhumi Airport is still standing two weeks from now, I'll wave them off and get back to the blogging.
January 21 2007
Mango Sauce is on hiatus
Like an Internet El Nino, Google has inflicted a visitor-drought on Mango Sauce.
Consequently, I've decided to take a break so that I can start work on another website. If conditions improve, however, I'll resume posting here.
January 11 2007
Google pulls the plug (again)
For reasons that I don't understand, Google has removed hundreds of Mango Sauce pages from its top search results.
Visitor numbers have crashed and the site is no longer financially viable.
September 11 2006
Bangkok Post attacks Mango Sauce
The Bangkok Post has falsely accused me of inciting a hate campaign against Guru journalist Lyle Walter. In an article published in Friday's Guru supplement, Narin Taylor claims that Mango Sauce contributors are guilty of "ganging up on a woman and a mother," hurling "lewd sexual insults" and sending "numerous hate mails" - allegations that are either completely untrue or, at best, greatly exaggerated.
Narin concludes that:
These people should be called a bunch of... what's the slang term for female dogs?
For having the temerity to suggest that one of Lyle's articles contained some implied criticism of farang men, I've been branded a "bitch" in a national newspaper - along with all the other Mango Sauce contributors who Narin also dismisses as "sheep."
Many readers will already be aware that "bitch" - when applied to a man - is the most offensive insult in the Thai language. It's the equivalent of calling someone a "cunt" in English and, quite frankly, I'm surprised that the Bangkok Post printed it.
May 2 2006
Is AdBrite Mango's WhiteNite?
SL posted this rather intriguing comment:
I got banned from AdSense but I found AdBrite.com. AdBrite is making me more money than AdSense did so I am in a way kind of happy that they banned me :)
If this remarkable achievement is repeatable, Mango Sauce could rise up from the muddy rice fields of obscurity to reclaim its rightful place on the chromium pole of the world stage - and, unlike Google, AdBrite doesn't give a damn if I'm "showing."
It's the advertisers who decide.
If the scheme works, you won't have to buy me a cola either. I'm not interested in charging subscriptions.
Some kindly readers have offered to stuff a hundred baht note down my knickers but I'm not really that kind of boy (unless you've got a thousand).
I for one would support your blog with a contribution every month. With 100,000 readers, it shouldn't take much to keep it running, even if only 10% of us contribute - BW.
BW's heart is certainly in the right place but sick buffaloes don't heal themselves:
May 1 2006
Mango Sauce vs. Google: The Outcome
Scott The Google AdSense Team in happier days
Scott The Google AdSense Team has retreated from the Mango Sauce vs. Google battle without so much as a two-fingered salute. Contrary to the normal rules of combat, this means that he's won the war.
Mango Sauce never crossed the line but the Google AdSense train has sounded its mighty horn and I have no choice but to stand clear. Despite my run-in with Scott, I remain a "valued" program affiliate and an AdSense-funded successor to Mango Sauce is already on the drawing-board.
Watch out for a new, improved and sparklingly smut-free newcomer to the Thailand web-scene in a few months time. My marketing-guru drinking-buddy tells me that the Mango Sauce USP (unique selling-point) was humour rather than ping-pong balls and he reckons that the new site will attract a wider audience. Let's hope he's right.
I'll post the details here when the new site is polished up and ready for your inspection.
In the meantime, there's plenty of Thailand-related material out there to keep you entertained and I'm sure it's no coincidence that the best stuff is actually written by the small minority of Thailand webmasters who had the decency to help publicise my cause. I'll unfurl the roll of honour in a minute but it goes without saying that the others can bugger-off and jump in the Chao Phraya.
The largest player didn't even bother to answer my email - despite the fact that all he does each day is pick a few pieces out of the Bangkok Post and flick them in the general direction of his forum like dried bogies. The rift between us is now almost as wide as the cracks in the new terminal building at Suvarnabhumi Airport.
April 25 2006
Google kills Mango Sauce
Mango Sauce is dead and Google is responsible.
This week, a junior Google official decided (wrongly) that Mango Sauce was offensive and arbitrarily pulled the plug on its advertising - leaving the site dead in the water. This may come as quite a shock to 100,000 regular readers and hundreds of local advertisers. It certainly shocked me.
The guy has clearly blundered but there's no right of appeal and Google's global stranglehold on Internet advertising means that there's no alternative source of funding available either. On the face of it, Mango Sauce is finished.
The bad news doesn't stop there. If this stupid blacklisting decision isn't overturned, no website is safe from being crushed by the petty-minded foot-soldiers of Google's unaccountable Internet monopoly. It's all rather Kafkaesque.
In my darkest moment, concerned reader MDS stepped in to cheer me up with some helpful advice.
You might find the decision reversed due to hordes of angry Mangosauce readers emailing their opinion to Google. Google is actually quite responsive to criticism, when it comes in droves, via email.
Today, I'm calling upon thousands of loyal Mango Sauce readers to make their feelings known to Google. This is their email address
but, before you write in, let me fill you in on the whole story. It's quite a farce.
Before we begin, though, I'd first like to dispel any myth that Google can be taken seriously as the web's self-appointed guardian of truth, decency and the American Way.
The only web-publisher in the world permitted to display Google ads alongside sizzling hardcore filth is, in fact, Google. Though some would consider it immoral, the business is obviously far too lucrative for them to pass up.
Google draw their own line at bestiality but any AdSense-funded publisher who has the temerity to mention church-sanctioned marital sex in the missionary position is skating on very thin ice indeed - even if it's done only once a week with the lights off for the sole purpose of making a lovely baby.
August 24 2004
Prime Minister Tony Blair gets Mangoed
10 Downing Street (http://www.number-10.gov.uk) is the official website of the British Prime Minister Tony Blair. In other words, it's his blog - except that it's put together by a small army of highly-paid political advisers and civil servants.
In what must be a huge personal blow to the Prime Minister, web stats giant, Alexa, revealed today that his website is, in fact, considerably less popular than Mango Sauce - an obscure personal blog cobbled together by a washed-up middle-aged farang in a small Bangkok apartment.
The world has scorned Tony Blair's blog so, in the interests of restoring British national pride, I've decided to take him under my wing.
Dear Prime Minister Blair
Recycling your speeches and press briefings impresses no one. You should sex-up your blog with some better material.
Do you remember chartering a Concorde to New York after 9/11? The taxpayer had to foot the bill but it was a great photo opportunity. As the world's press looked on, you stepped from the gleaming white jet to offer your condolences to a grieving nation - and cracked your head on the cabin door. It was priceless.
August 7 2004
Where Nobody Knows Your Name
[To the accompaniment of the theme from Cheers - and with apologies to Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo]
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got
Browsing Mango Sauce during office hours sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to goÔø?
Where nobody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna be where you can see
Thai bar girls are all the same
You wanna be where nobody knows
Your name
Thousands of Internet-savvy office skivers have made Mango Sauce what it is today - 10 minutes of Thai-related fun sandwiched between catching-up with the sports news and admiring the beauty of the cum-splattered female form. Incredibly, though, there are still those who question its value.
June 22 2004
Disruption to normal service
"Traffic" and "raining" are the classic Thai excuses for not turning up. Mango Sauce will also exhibit a less-than-perfect attendance record this month because I'm busy visiting family and friends in the UK.
My mates will get to hear tales of misbehaviour judged too naughty for Mango Sauce and, consequently, they will want to move to Thailand at once - after divorcing the wife, selling the house, and drowning the kids in a bucket. They spend half the year over here already on the flimsy pretext of coming to visit me (they tell their wives how lonely I am) but I suspect that my new-found popularity would fade if I relocated to Saudi Arabia.
My family, on the other hand, will learn of a Thailand rich in culture and tradition - a fitting home from home for a displaced Englishman with a keen interest in temple architecture and delicious spicy food.
While my wide-eyed nieces and nephews are held spellbound by my tales of swashbuckling adventure in the exotic East ("...so I flipped her over, like, and..."), the rest of my family will, of course, continue to believe that I'm a sleazy washed-up idler who habitually snorts lines of Charlie off a prostitute's bare arse. Let's hope that they never discover Mango Sauce, or my strenuous denials will carry even less weight.
While I'm away, my Thai girlfriend will obviously be inconsolably lonely - a bit like Tom Hanks was in Sleepless in Seattle. If, however, one of my so-called mates is tempted to "pop over to cheer her up" his photo and personal details will be posted to Mango Sauce under the heading "RuPaul's true identity revealed."
June 15 2004
Google loves our Thai "gote"
Knowing the search terms that people use to find your site is one of the best perks of being a webmaster. By feeding them back into Google, you can find out which ones have achieved their coveted #1 ranking. Type in "Thai gote" for example, and up pops Mango Sauce in pole position:
Hi. I am lady from Korat and i reed you're mango leter. I think you dont know thai lady very well. ... i will do everything, even with dog or gote if you want.
www.mangosauce.com/ sex/korat_gote_girl_shit_on_table.php - 35k
Who could resist clicking on that? Mango Sauce also has the top spot for land of vertical smiles, Thai slappers, farang monster cock, huge Thai boobs, Asian supermodel minge and young Asian girl dick worshippers.
A surprise #1 entry for Bangkok mail order husbands reveals that more than a few lonely farang women have resorted to desperate measures.
One of our regular contributors might be interested to learn that Dana ladyboy bum love has also won Mango Sauce a top slot - as has How to bum rape Shu Qi and Lena Li.
May 2 2004
My bizarre Stickman ordeal
Some readers have accused me of giving Stickman a hard time but this isn't true. It would be fair to say, however, that I don't owe the guy any favours and, today, I'll explain why.
Because the practice is mutually beneficial, webmasters of related sites often exchange links. Given that we're ideal link-partners, I wrote to Stickman last September to float the idea. At first, he responded positively but later he went back on his word and sent me some peculiar emails.
Hi Stickman
I recently started a blog about my own Thailand experience called Mango Sauce. Maybe you and your readers would like to take a look.
I would be really grateful if you could feature the following extract (See My wife is a minger. Should I run away to Thailand?) in your weekly column or Readers' Submissions section (or both). I have already included a review of your website here.
Cheers
David
He replied to me the very same day.
David,
Thanks for the email - very nice little piece indeed which I'll be happy to put into the column. The only thing is, while I am happy to give you a link elsewhere, I am unable to do so in the column. Please advise if this is ok. The reason being that some people pay a premium for advertising in the column and do not think it fair that others get free links. So, can provide a link from elsewhere, but not the column....Cheers,
Stick
April 20 2004
Mango Sauce comments
When I launched Mango Sauce last year, I envisaged that my daily postings about farang life in Thailand would grow month by month into a carefully catalogued collection of poorly researched and factually inaccurate articles worthy only of derision but the lively comment threads have knocked my plans spectacularly off-course.
The bombastic Mr X summed up perfectly the feelings of the group:
After excessive exposure to the Discovery Channel on weekday nights, I'm beginning to see Mango Sauce as a sort of virtual beehive. My role is similar to that of the queen - but I'm not entirely comfortable with the title and all that it implies.
March 25 2004
Death to Mango Sauce
I get loads of death-threats for publishing Mango Sauce but the most recent potential assassin was daft enough to disclose his email address. Yes, Peter Chotiphan, you made a bit of a blunder there.
You are mother-fucker a sick man. I now try to find who are you. I will reward you a good prize for what you promote my country in a fucking way. watch your back........... I will get you soon - PeterChotiphan@aol.com.
The wording of his threat isn't very entertaining, though, so here are some better ones:
is ridiculous what said here. the man runs site or writes for his employers can be arrest - his evil and selfish and rapist of ladies. he should thank his corrupt god he not where i am in thailand, he should never come to ko samuii or his dispicable will be end - Sompaal.
March 10 2004
Friends of Mango Sauce
These websites have kindly linked to Mango Sauce.
February 28 2004
The Nation reviews Mango Sauce
Yesterday, Mango Sauce was reviewed by The Nation, Thailand's popular English language daily.
Phil Macdonald's Friday Expat Page is the best reason for reading The Nation so I was pleased to be featured.
I asked actress Gwyneth Paltrow to accept the accolade on my behalf but I'm afraid she fucked up again.
August 26 2003
Taking Bangkok's knickers down and spanking its bare bottom
Well how else would you describe Mango Sauce?
My name is David and I'm crazy about Bangkok. Sharing the sordid details helps me to get more out of my life here. What's the point of shagging a fat lass if you can't tell the lads?
You may have found this site by entering some naughty words into a search engine but it won't be gridlocking your network with gigabytes of sizzling Asian smut. There are a million websites dishing out the erotic ammo for a lunchtime power-wank but only a few offer lively commentary about living the good life (and the low life) in Bangkok.
Mango Sauce isn't shy about getting its tits out for the lads but it offers more than just a quick grope. Bangkok is a fascinating city. If Mango Sauce can capture just part of the thrill of living here, it will be doing well. The canvas is wide and no topic is off-limits (except visiting temples).
Doesn't taking a prurient interest in Bangkok sleaze give you that warm fuzzy feeling too?
Thanks for visiting Mango Sauce. I hope you will love it long-time.
Regards
David
Previously
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
December 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
