January 21 2007

Mango Sauce is on hiatus

Like an Internet El Nino, Google has inflicted a visitor-drought on Mango Sauce.

Consequently, I've decided to take a break so that I can start work on another website. If conditions improve, however, I'll resume posting here.

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January 18 2007

Farangs get run out of town

dick

When the money runs out, taking a dive from a high balcony is sometimes considered a better option than returning to Farangland but six empty beer bottles and a misspelled note is hardly a legacy to be proud of so most guys choose to carry on living.

After his Pattaya bar folded, Bill (not his real name) had little choice but to return to London.

Finding an affordable apartment was impossible so he had to settle for his ex-wife's spare bedroom on a bleak peripheral council estate - the kind of place where everyone owns a baseball bat but no one plays baseball.

His Thai wife was initially less than thrilled but soon cheered up when she realised that, in London, men pay good money to have sex with a well-preserved bargirl in her early forties.

January 16 2007

Koh Samui's alternative health spa

pisanu

"Thank you for waiting. The doctor will piss on you now."

January 14 2007

Crikey! Steve Irwin snogs ladyboy in Midnight Bar

Steve Irwin

Had he not been kebabbed by a stingray, Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, might have been shocked to learn that the Midnight Bar on Soi Cowboy now features two ladyboy dancers in its line-up.

For the unwary, it's a cruel practical joke that can only backfire.

Many of the mourners at Steve Irwin's funeral copied his distinctive dress code as a mark of respect but, on Thursday night in the Midnight Bar, one idiot took things too far.

January 11 2007

Google pulls the plug (again)

For reasons that I don't understand, Google has removed hundreds of Mango Sauce pages from its top search results.

Visitor numbers have crashed and the site is no longer financially viable.

January 10 2007

Tanai Kwai shares Bangkok Girlfriend

bangkok girlfriend

With Stickman stitched up, Friskodude locked up and Baron Bonk giving up (due to ill health) the time has come for a new Thailand blogger to step up to the plate.

Spurred on by the critical acclaim that greeted his NotMangoSauce spoof, our very own Tanai Kwai now brings us BangkokGirlfriend.com.

This week, he questions the effectiveness of Thai girls learning English from the subtitles of pirated DVDs - as aptly illustrated by a quote from a knock-off version of Pirates of the Caribbean and its inept transcription:

You will offer what amounts to a full pardon.

You are for what the mom's stewed full tongue.

January 4 2007

Farangs.org pins rape conviction on innocent man

In a bid to justify their anti-farang views, the creators of race-hate website Farangs.org have been boasting about the part they played in the conviction of a foreign paedophile for child abduction and rape, citing an article in a Thai newspaper

md

When translated, however, the article reveals that the guy wasn't a paedophile, no children were abducted and no one got raped. Ironically, he wasn't even a farang.

It seems that inconvenient concepts like truth and justice weren't allowed to get in the way of a racially motivated lynching.

This long-running story has taken a seriously ugly turn but perhaps our gloating anti-farang activists assumed that no one could read Thai.

Here's the translation:

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