May 27 2006

Gold-digging Thai brides will get 50%

Melissa Miller

"Very happy" Mellissa Miller gets £5m after just 2 years and 9 months.

Your dubious Thai Internet bride could now rob you of 50% of your assets within just months of tying the knot following this week’s shock test-case divorce ruling by Britain’s highest court.

Now, she no longer has to produce a child or wait a respectable number of years before stealing your life savings.

If she sells her body, takes drugs, trashes your car and runs off with your best friend it makes no difference because the Courts can’t now take her behaviour into account when deciding how big her lottery win will be.

Readers probably won’t be too surprised to learn that this disgraceful legal precedent was set by a pushy American PR woman seeking to rob her hapless British husband of five million pounds (about $10 million).

Your Ad Here

May 20 2006

Nakadia: Thai superstar DJ & nude model

nakadia

Busty Korat babe Nakadia, 24, is Thailand's top DJ but you won't find her turning the wheels of steel in Bangkok.

She's got the dark-skinned rice-farmer's daughter look that Thai men hate so she's a superstar in almost every country in the world except Thailand. Western fellas go bonkers for her exotic face, big knockers and endless legs so it's hardly surprising that she opted to 'go Inter.'

Like most chicks from the sticks, Nakadia's life hasn't been easy. After finishing high school, she did various crappy jobs in factories before ending up working in an Internet caf?�. There, she met an unnamed French photographer via webcam and "eventually made it to France for some fashion shoots."

I'll direct you to one of her early photo-sessions in a moment but 'fashion shoot' isn't quite the expression I'd have chosen.

May 13 2006

Violated by Thai ladyboys

michael.jpg

Buy me cola

The first and last time that I ever (knowingly) bought a drink for a ladyboy was at Casanova in Nana Plaza.

In the early days, my Thai girlfriend was always pestering me to take her to a nightlife area. Whether your partner is Thai or farang, this is always a mistake but, foolishly, I relented and we ended up at Nana Plaza.

Predictably, she hated the regular go-go bars but Casanova drew her in like a magnet. Soon, she was happily swapping make-up tips and ordering "man-drinks" for all (at my expense) while I was left to fight-off a horrendous moon-faced predator with buttock-implants like shopping-bags. I felt more endangered than a wildebeest with a club-foot.

When you're in a bad situation it's always reassuring to think about those in a worse one.

May 11 2006

Thai women seek foreign husbands

couplepool.jpg

The reasons why Thai women seek out foreign husbands are hotly disputed. Their eagerness to get hitched is plainly obvious but, until now, no one had bothered to ask them why.

BANGKOK: -- Most Thai women from Thailand's north-eastern region who enter into marriages with foreign men do so to escape the vicious cycle of poverty, but are keen to distinguish themselves from hired brides or prostitutes, according to research.

Although it is based on a study in a single north-eastern village, the report by Dr. Rattana Boonmathaya from Mahidol University has wider resonances in a society in which marriage to foreigners is a popular option.

The particular village chosen for the study is noticeable for the fact that nearly one in three of the 330 women aged 20-59 resident there has chosen to marry a foreigner, with 96 percent having married men from Switzerland.

May 8 2006

After hours at The Grace Hotel

Lawrence of Arabia

Choose wisely my friend but the fat one is mine

Contrary to popular belief, Arab fellas enjoy drinking and womanising every bit as much as we do and, if they can't afford to cut-loose at The Dorchester on London's elegant Park Lane, The Grace Hotel on Bangkok's decrepit Sukhumvit Soi 3 will have to do.

The Grace isn't the force it once was in Bangkok's vibrant after-hours drinking scene but, for those who refuse to swallow the lie that Westerners and Muslims can't get along, it still offers some novel opportunities for night-time adventure.

In the hotel's authentic belly-dancing lounge you'll rarely see a farang face - so you can play Humphrey Bogart in your own private Casablanca.

The Thai femme-fatales are a bit on the chubby side, however, and they certainly don't go for the natural look when applying their makeup. By morning, Van Gogh will have painted your companion's likeness on the pillow - and on a few more surfaces besides, if she's game.

May 5 2006

James Bond does Bangkok

bond.jpg

A shark pool, some lethal gadgets and a bowler hat-hurling midget in formal wear are the essential ingredients for some James Bond-related fun in Bangkok. Blofeld might fit in quite well here too.

Everyone's seen the famous dwarf doorman at the Check Inn 99 on Sukhumvit Road. I ventured inside once but the drinks were massively overpriced and the pervasive stench of wee left me shaken and most definitely not stirred.

The stylish Sin bar, situated in the unglamorous-sounding Raja Hotel Car Park, has a real-life shark tank. Unfortunately, however, it hangs from the ceiling so feeding your bungling subordinates to the fishes would take considerably more effort than a simple button-click.

In these far from ideal circumstances, unless Mr Bond was first relieved of his versatile Rolex and chained safely to a pulley, blurting out your fiendish plans for world domination too early would probably be a mistake. Personally, I'd just shoot the bugger at the first opportunity but, with Blofeld, you might as well be talking to a first-time tourist in love with a bar girl.

I asked the bartender what happens when the sharks get too big.

"We get new ones."

The food at Sin is quite nice but, when the sharks shrink overnight, it might be wise to avoid the "tuna" salad for a week or two.

May 2 2006

Is AdBrite Mango's WhiteNite?

SL posted this rather intriguing comment:

I got banned from AdSense but I found AdBrite.com. AdBrite is making me more money than AdSense did so I am in a way kind of happy that they banned me :)

If this remarkable achievement is repeatable, Mango Sauce could rise up from the muddy rice fields of obscurity to reclaim its rightful place on the chromium pole of the world stage - and, unlike Google, AdBrite doesn't give a damn if I'm "showing."

It's the advertisers who decide.

If the scheme works, you won't have to buy me a cola either. I'm not interested in charging subscriptions.

Some kindly readers have offered to stuff a hundred baht note down my knickers but I'm not really that kind of boy (unless you've got a thousand).

I for one would support your blog with a contribution every month. With 100,000 readers, it shouldn't take much to keep it running, even if only 10% of us contribute - BW.

BW's heart is certainly in the right place but sick buffaloes don't heal themselves:

May 1 2006

Mango Sauce vs. Google: The Outcome

scott.jpg

Scott The Google AdSense Team in happier days

Scott The Google AdSense Team has retreated from the Mango Sauce vs. Google battle without so much as a two-fingered salute. Contrary to the normal rules of combat, this means that he's won the war.

Mango Sauce never crossed the line but the Google AdSense train has sounded its mighty horn and I have no choice but to stand clear. Despite my run-in with Scott, I remain a "valued" program affiliate and an AdSense-funded successor to Mango Sauce is already on the drawing-board.

Watch out for a new, improved and sparklingly smut-free newcomer to the Thailand web-scene in a few months time. My marketing-guru drinking-buddy tells me that the Mango Sauce USP (unique selling-point) was humour rather than ping-pong balls and he reckons that the new site will attract a wider audience. Let's hope he's right.

I'll post the details here when the new site is polished up and ready for your inspection.

In the meantime, there's plenty of Thailand-related material out there to keep you entertained and I'm sure it's no coincidence that the best stuff is actually written by the small minority of Thailand webmasters who had the decency to help publicise my cause. I'll unfurl the roll of honour in a minute but it goes without saying that the others can bugger-off and jump in the Chao Phraya.

The largest player didn't even bother to answer my email - despite the fact that all he does each day is pick a few pieces out of the Bangkok Post and flick them in the general direction of his forum like dried bogies. The rift between us is now almost as wide as the cracks in the new terminal building at Suvarnabhumi Airport.

Your Ad Here