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Writer meets Thai bar girl, falls in love and lives to regret it. This is how Stephen Leather describes his unpublished book, Private Dancer. Tina Turner was unavailable for comment.

The story is told from the viewpoint of each of the main characters. This device allows readers to understand their clash of motives. Our hapless hero applies his western notions of love and honour to the wrong woman and his downfall soon follows. This is gripping stuff and painfully authentic.

Although Leather is a popular thriller writer, he can't find a publisher for this work. Perhaps it is too politically incorrect. The good news is that you can download it free from his website. Read it before you even contemplate a relationship with a Thai woman. If it's already too late, read it to find out where your life went wrong.

Private Dancer can be downloaded in PDF format:

www.stephenleather.com/unpub.html

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Stickman's guide to Bangkok

Kiwi ex-pat Stickman writes about his life in Thailand from first-time tourist to happily married English teacher. Like many westerners, he was initially attracted to the bar scene but gradually became disillusioned with it and ultimately married a respectable Thai woman.

His site started out as a factual guide to setting up home in Bangkok, enjoying the naughty nightlife and becoming an English teacher. Over the years, it grew into an interesting resource for readers involved with Thai women or seeking a new life in Thailand.

These days, our Bangkok commentator directs his energies into his popular weekly column. His wife is also drafted in to answer readers' questions. A diverse readership have contributed hundreds of submissions about their Thai adventures.

www.stickmanbangkok.com

Survey reveals that Thais enjoy the best sex

Thais don't make love often but are very satisfied, according to the annual Durex global sex survey.

An astonishing 92% of Thai respondents said they were happy sexually - making them the world's happiest lovers. The most miserable were the Russians who only managed 56%. Imagine Mr and Mrs Brezhnev in action and the reason becomes clear.

Compared to the world average of 127, the amorous French have sex most often at 152 times a year. In contrast, the Thais only manage 105. Perhaps the infrequency of their lovemaking reflects the need to save up first. Thailand is in the top three for paid sex. However, their satisfaction seems to confirm that they get what they pay for.

This year, actress Patcharapa "Um" Chaichua (pictured) was voted Thailand's sexiest woman.

Bangkok cabbies join war on terror

In advance of the APEC summit, cab drivers have been instructed by the Metropolitan Police to quiz foreign passengers. "Normally terrorists will keep quiet if you talk to them" explained Pol Maj Noppasilpa. Instead of being driven to massage parlours against their will, shy passengers will now end up at the cop shop.

Don't quote me #2

The Voyage of Dick Headley: Navigation

Here's the latest installment from Dick Headley.

People often ask me if I have a destination. Do you know where you're going Dick, they ask? Well of course I give them the old smile, like I know what's going on, but to tell the truth I don't have a fucking clue.

To be honest I don't know bugger all about navigation neither. Or should that be 'nor do I not know bugger all about navigation either.'? Always have trouble with those double negatives. Oh, I can read a chart and a compass of course but the finer points elude me. Sextant? No thanks. All that fiddly stuff with plotters and logs. I leave all that to Nyum. I trust her completely. She gives me a compass heading and I steer it. She seems to have an instinct for it. Funny that. Some people just always seem to know where they are.

The Carib Indians got around OK in their canoes. Island hopping probably. Never out of sight of land for long. Bloody amazing how those early Polynesians found their way around the Pacific with just a few shells and a couple of twigs. Me, I don't know where I am half the time. HahÔø?I can read the wind and the water but dates, tide-tables, windspeeds, headingsÔø?it's all bloody mixed up mate. Get to my age and you don't give a toss. Take each day as a bonus.

When I left Tahiti I had a vague plan to go to Barbados (where I have a house) via Aruba. Didn't work out. Ran into some very strong westerlies after we left Colon and decided to do the islands anti-clockwise. That means when we leave here we'll probably head for Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. Then what? Still want to fuck Nok. Maybe give Oscar a hand with his treasure hunt. I do plan to end up in Barbados for the Mountgay Distillery Pilgrimage but not sure when. After that who knows. Back to Pattaya probably. Always plenty of odd-jobs at the Headley Hostel for Rehabilitated Sex Trade Workers.

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Mistaken for the Bangkok Bank

As "wealthy" foreigners, we are often asked for loans - as if we were the Bangkok Bank. Needless to say, kindly farangs rarely get their money back.

Dealing with the financial needs of a Thai partner's family is a common problem. Regardless of what they might say, any loan would be regarded as a gift. It wouldn't win their love or respect either. Do you love your bank manager?

Polite attempts to seek repayment would be brushed off. More serious attempts could lead to conflict and might even put your life in danger. Your girl would have to side with her family. If she was a prostitute (or even if she wasn't), this could be the sting she has been planning all along.

Generosity is a virtue but it shouldn't be confused with lending. In a family situation, paying a reasonable dowry or giving a monthly allowance might be more appropriate. If money was the reason she married you, once it is spent or lent you are of no further use to her. Keep control of the purse strings.

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Ass-kicked by a girl

In Jackass: The movie, stuntman Ryan Dunn fights Double-K world women's lightweight champion Kumagai Naoka. Naturally, she kicks his ass. Now she does it again in Thai.

Dunn: I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.
Chan j? dt?® ??rk bpai j? hk p?¥oyƒ?ng.

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Road racing Thai-style

Looking more like a prestige car dealership than an impromptu race track, Chaeng Wattana Road in Nonthaburi is the Saturday night playground of Bangkok's over-privileged teenaged street racers.

None of them are petrol-heads and there isn't a serious racing machine in sight. It's more about showing-off expensive German metal. As he sleeps, Daddy is probably unaware that his Benz is chewing up a 3km straight at speeds of up to 170mph. Mummy may wonder why her BMW needs a new set of tyres after only 100 miles.

Competitors are typically aged between 15 and 20 and races take the form of duels. Prizes include cash, drugs and sex with the loser's girlfriend. The girls don't mind. Money makes them horny and these charismatic rich kids get through enough muff to knit a sweater.

Thailand's not-so-elite have their own version. These cash-strapped wannabes race their stupid mopeds but first they drill a hole in the exhaust to make it sound more irritating. The effect is not so much throaty roar as angry wasp. The winner probably gets a gulp of Chang beer and a hand-job off the loser's mum.

Teach yourself Thai: A complete course for beginners

Many low-cost books claim to offer a complete Thai language course for beginners but, in my view, this is the only one that does the job properly.

The author, David Smyth, is one of the world's top Thai language experts. He teaches at the School of Oriental and African Studies in London and is also the co-author of the excellent Linguaphone Thai Course (See Learn Thai & woo Thai girls). His approach is well thought out and accurate. Most other courses look amateurish in comparison.

The book is suitable for both beginners and intermediate learners. It has 15 graded units of dialogues, culture notes, grammar and exercises plus a Thai-English vocabulary, a pronunciation guide and lessons on how to read and write in Thai too. It covers about 30% of the same ground as the Linguaphone Thai Course and is much cheaper. If you don't want to splash out for the best, this is a reasonable alternative.

• Continue reading "Teach yourself Thai: A complete course for beginners"

Thai college Lolitas arouse lustful hacks

Yet again, on some flimsy pretext, the Bangkok Post leads on the provocative uniforms worn by female university students. Thai men like their girls young. Though unremarkable to western eyes, the tight shirts and split skirts favoured by the students always get noticed.

It's thought that deeply shocked male journalists pen their diatribes before rushing off to Petchburi Road for a calming massage.

Hambali shoots only his mouth off

Caged terror suspect Hambali continues to sing like a canary to his CIA interrogators. This week he named the US-owned Conrad and JW Marriott hotels in Bangkok as al-Qaeda targets. He also confirmed that terrorists possess US-made shoulder-launched Stinger missiles and have plans to attack commercial airliners at Don Muang airport. Wise travellers might consider avoiding US carriers.

Security at the airport is compromised by a golf course beside the runway. Popular with the great and the good, calls for its closure have been ignored for years. Jets are occasionally struck by balls. Let's hope a terrorist doesn't whip something more deadly out of his golf bag.

State aid to have strings attached

Prime Minister Thaksin has proposed a new scheme to allocate farmland to the rural poor. This time, safeguards will be put in place to prevent them from selling it on to rich landowners. Rather than dirty their needy hands, the beneficiaries of previous schemes preferred to sell up and invest the proceeds in booze and loose women before queuing up for another plot.

Appeal to would-be stalkers

Two months ago, I was persuaded to go to the Muzzik Cafe in Patpong. Most guys go once and put it down to experience but the chicks love it. Also popular with tourists, it features second-rate live bands, London prices and clingy freelancers who grope you on autopilot without once looking away from their vapid mates.

On arriving home, I realised that some over-tactile slag had lifted my cellphone - a stylish Nokia 6100. When I called to arrange a ransom, the slut was in high spirits and in no mood to talk. I asked a Thai friend to call her later. My friend reckoned she was a pathetic drug-addict who would be in touch soon - correctly as it turned out. However, she wanted far too much and I ended up telling her to shove the phone up her arse (she could take it quite easily, I suspect).

• Continue reading "Appeal to would-be stalkers"

Why do farang girls hate Thailand?

Have you ever seen an ex-pat with a farang girlfriend? Me neither. Throughout Thailand, farang girls have been swapped for Thais in a manner reminiscent of the 1950's science fiction classic Invasion of the body snatchers - "it's some kind of pod... aaagh!" Why does this happen?

Loads of farang girls enjoy holidaying in Thailand with their boyfriends. It's the ones who come with their girlie mates who discover that the fortnight is not as fun-filled as they had hoped. Just like the rest of humanity, western girls relish the chance to meet new people and get fucked rotten. It's the second part of the equation that Thailand often fails to deliver - for girls, anyway.

I visited the island of Koh Samed a few months ago and noticed a group of pretty English girls who were out looking for a good time. In Ibiza, these provocatively dressed minxes would've had to beat the fellas off with a shitty stick. On Koh Samed, however, they partied alone. There are no girlie bars on the island, so the western guys had all played it safe and brought their Thai sweethearts along.

As the girls' frustration mounted, one of them copped-off with a Thai waiter. There was no age gap but the height gap was a bit noticeable. She popped him into her pocket and took him back for a night of fun in her bungalow.

Next day, I was lucky enough to overhear part of the post-mortem. Apparently he was quite sweet but had burst into tears when she asked him to use a condom. His English was quite basic but he was able to explain his family problems and financial difficulties.

• Continue reading "Why do farang girls hate Thailand?"

Is your Thai sweetheart really a ladyboy?

Many years ago, when I was young and innocent, I met a Swedish backpacker recently back from Thailand. Over a couple of drinks, he explained to me the curious phenomenon of Thai ladyboys. Known as katoeys, these highly decorated gender-benders can be seen practically everywhere. I asked my new Swedish chum what on earth you would do if you pulled one and didn't realise your mistake until rather late in the game. "Anything you like" he said with a grin.

For those who don't want to get more than they bargained for, I've cobbled together a biological check-list below. Mistakes happen more frequently than people let on. Would you brag about it?

This photo of the Miss Lady Lady International contest appeared recently in the Bangkok Post. The one in the middle is obviously a fella, but what about the other two? The one on the left looks like a real babe, but a babe is the one thing she is not. In fact, all three have that little bit extra - namely a big fat veiny knob or, at best, one that has been inverted by surgery.

• Continue reading "Is your Thai sweetheart really a ladyboy?"

Please don't call me at work darling

Smile, you're in Thai jail

After a busy day sidestepping sadistic guards, bullying their fellow prisoners and taking turns to lie down in grossly overcrowded cells, many inmates of Thailand's notorious jails choose to relax with a drug fix and a satisfying bum-rape.

Last week, prison tours where laid on so that misbehaving vocational students could see for themselves just how awful the conditions are in Thai jails. On being shown the toilets, many pledged to change their ways.

The food isn't very nice either. In his book The Damage Done, Aussie ex-prisoner Warren Fellows explains that the food was so bad that many prisoners preferred to feed it to the swarming cockroaches - and then eat the cockroaches. A handful of the smelly insects ground up in a cup were the nearest thing they had to a tasty, nutritious snack.

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Bangkok's stray dogs prepare for APEC summit

Next month's summit will bring leaders from the 21 members of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation Forum to Bangkok - including US President George W Bush. As part of a massive security operation, 3,000 American agents are already here.

Tough measures already in place include a crackdown on "showing" in go-go bars. Bashful delegates and their hangers-on are to be protected from exposure to nipples as they trawl red-light districts for hookers.

Other measures include packing Bangkok's rough sleepers off to remote temples and rounding up stray dogs. Aside from the concerns of some abbots, the relocation of street folk has attracted little criticism. However, many Thais have given the street dogs shelter in their homes while the catchers are at work. As with ugly bar girls, they boot them out only when the coast is clear.

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Butterfly Man

An Englishman comes to Thailand, meets a girl and totally loses the plot. This familiar tale makes its screen debut in Butterfly Man.

Adam (Stuart Laing) takes his girlfriend on holiday to Thailand in a last-ditch attempt to save their flagging relationship. However, in typical girlie fashion she "finds herself" by shagging the first unsuitable man who comes along - in her case, a long-haired Thai gigolo she meets on Kaosan Road.

Our newly single hero sets off on a quest to discover the real Thailand and makes his way down to Koh Samui. There, he meets a dodgy local farang who introduces him to charming Thai masseuse Em (Mamee Nakprasitte). His life will never be the same again.

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Don't quote me #1

Why do nice guys marry Thai prostitutes?

In the menu of this website, notice how relationships can be found somewhere between nightlife and sex. Curiously, this is precisely how many western men hook-up with their Thai girlfriends.

Back home, it would be unthinkable to marry a prostitute (Would you pay your own wife for a hand-job behind the bottle-bank?). In Thailand, however, to ask a stranger how he met his partner would be crassness bordering on Tourette's Syndrome. Ex-hooker wives and girlfriends seem to be the norm here.

In fairness, many of them are lovely girls and you would never guess the secrets of their lurid past but others are as rough as fuck. Why do nice guys do it?

Could it be White Knight Syndrome? Planeloads of lonely, kind-hearted guys arrive in Thailand each day and there are plenty of damsels apparently in distress to choose from. The widespread belief that hookers want to be saved is typified by headlines like "37 prostitutes rescued from massage parlour" but they have a rather hollow ring to them. Reports of "37 traders rescued from brokerage house" wouldn't elicit much sympathy would it? If coercion is absent, all that remains is career choice.

When a Thai bar girl says "I want leave bar go school get good job", what she really means is "fund me a life of idle luxury so I can be more selective about the guys I fuck for pleasure and profit behind your back." She already has a cushy number with great pay and perks. It's her straight-laced sisters slaving away in factories and rice paddies that deserve our sympathy. Most guys already know this, so why do they still choose a Thai hooker?

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The Voyage of Dick Headley: Jacmel

Today, Dick Headley weathers a storm in Haiti and writes about his first brush with the porn business.

IVAN000
WTNT34 KNHC 091451
TCPAT4
BULLETIN
HURRICANE IVAN ADVISORY NUMBER 29
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
11 AM AST THU SEP 09 2004

...EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE IVAN HEADING FOR JAMAICA AND THE WESTERN CARIBBEAN SEA...

AT 11 AM AST...THE GOVERNMENT OF JAMAICA HAS ISSUED A HURRICANE WARNING FOR JAMAICA.

A HURRICANE WATCH AND A TROPICAL STORM WARNING REMAIN IN EFFECT FOR THE ENTIRE SOUTHWEST PENINSULA OF HAITI FROM THE BORDER OF THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC WESTWARD...INCLUDING PORT AU PRINCE...

Jacmel's a bit of a dump really. The beach is dirty but the girls wanted to stretch their legs and I needed to check the bilge pump so we hove to. Mind you it's been a lovely place at one time. Built by rich merchants from Port Au Prince who used it for a weekend getaway and there's some beautiful old houses. But now it's looking very rundown. We wander through the market. It's Sunday. I know that means the women will likely all be in church while the men go cockfighting. There's a young bloke following behind us. He's got a hyena on a piece of string. A very well behaved beast I must say. I ask him in my best Anglo/French if he knows anything about cockfighting. He looks puzzled so I jump up and down and flap my wings.

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Liar liar, pants on fire!

Fun-loving Thai ladies have a well-deserved reputation for telling the odd fib but their knickers rarely burst into flames as a result. For a mate of mine, however, this was all about to change.

With a night of fun in mind, he picked up a cute dancer from Nana Plaza and took her back to his hotel. In the bar, she had been quite happy to parade around naked in front of half the world. In the room, however, she was overcome with shyness. No amount of fiddling could create a lighting effect subtle enough for her.

Eventually, she created a soothing glow by slipping her lacy knickers over the wall-light. The ambiance was now judged sufficiently romantic for their tryst to begin. My friend was thrilled to discover that his date went like a train but his pleasure was short-lived. Whilst attending to the matter in hand, both had failed to notice that her undies were beginning to smoulder. Suddenly, they went up like a roman candle.

• Continue reading "Liar liar, pants on fire!"

Why do Thais tell lies?

When massage magnate Chuwit Kamolvisit made his unprecidented disclosures about police corruption and paid sex in high places, he shocked many ordinary Thais and broke an unwritten code of conduct.

Polite Thai society advocates wholesome family life, religious observance and refined etiquette. However, it also turns a blind eye to lovers, hookers, corruption and gambling. It is the element of deniability that reconciles these opposing values. The CIA applied the same logic to its conduct in the Iran-Contra affair. As they discovered, the strategy only works when scrutiny is lax and everyone keeps their mouth shut.

The gigantic massage parlours that dominate Bangkok's skyline are ostensibly just somewhere to relax and get cleaned up. Tired plutocrats in need of relief don't have to skulk in. The chauffeur drops them off in broad daylight and parks the limo out front. This "I just dance, I not go with customer" mentality draws a veil over a multitude of everyday sins.

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The Voyage of Dick Headley: Guano Islands

Hi David. Dick here. Thought I'd e-mail you. Not sure why. I must be missing the rough and tumble of the old message board. Talking of rough and tumble, that Frances must have been a hurricane and a half. Started as a tropical storm around Cape Verde. As you know, warm humid air rises from the ocean and creates a low pressure area in the troposphere. Winds get drawn in creating a vortex. The side effect of all this atmospheric activity makes Headley incredibly horny. The sails fill, the mast bends and we fly across the water. I send Danny up to trim the jib. We're on a long beam reach. Should reef the main a bit but sod it. One hand on the wheel, Nyum in her harness clipped to a jackstay, I rip her rigging off and shove one up her sterngland greaser. God it feels good with the wind howling and the spray on her face and her arse all dripping semen and sea-water. One of the other girls sticks her head out of the saloon, sees what's going on and pulls it back in. Bit of a somtam party going on down there. Lot of giggling. As if I give a toss who sees what. This is what life is about. Fuck everybody!!!

Then off to the southeast I spot some land. Bugger me what's that? Can't still be Jamaica surely? Quick check of the chart says it must be Navassa. Just a low rocky looking lump, not much to look at but it has an interesting history. On his 4th Voyage in 1504, Columbus was on his way back from discovering Panama. His ships were full of worms and leaking badly so he had to beach them in St. Anne's, Jamaica and send for help. He sent a few blokes off in dugouts to try and reach Hispaniola. They ran out of water and landed on "Navaza" where they found a few birds eggs and iguanas to eat. A few of them died and the rest managed to get to Santo Domingo in their canoes. Nobody visited the island again until the 1600's when it became popular with pirates.

• Continue reading "The Voyage of Dick Headley: Guano Islands"

Hughie Green talks about cock rot

Showman Hughie Green was the most prolific swordsman of his day and fathered enough illegitimate children (including dead pop-tart Paula Yates) to fill a medium sized industrial town.

With all that bareback bonking, it stands to reason that he must have known his way around the inside of a clap clinic. Although dead for some years now, Hughie has agreed to answer my questions about coping with a sticky beak in the Kingdom of Thailand. He is assisted, as ever, by his trusty clapometer.

David: Welcome to Mango Sauce Hughie. Tell us about syphilis.

Hughie: This disease was a personal favourite of mine back in the days when I hosted the piss-poor talent contest Opportunity Knocks on ITV but you seldom see it now - just like my show. It exhibits a diverse range of symptoms, culminating in madness and death. Once diagnosed, however, it is easily cured. Clapometer score 15.

David: Pubic lice are an occupational hazard for any man about town in Bangkok. How should we avoid them?

Hughie: If your date is scratching her minge like a reanimated corpse on a coffin lid then take a look for the tell-tale eggs and blood spots. A condom is no barrier to these microscopic muff-munchers but they are easily eradicated using crab lotion. I launched the careers of celebrities like Bobby Crush, Bernie Flint and Pam Ayres so I always kept a bottle handy in case they needed it. Clapometer score 5.

• Continue reading "Hughie Green talks about cock rot"

Sleaze busters mauled by vice girls

As the feud between police and massage magnate Chuwit Kamolvisit continues, it emerged this week that undercover cops are working overtime to bring vice charges against his masseuses. Evidence is gathered by fucking them rotten for two hours before slapping on the cuffs. Workaholic plods are said to be queuing 10 deep to bang these young women to rights.

Vocational students swap books for guns

The bullet-riddled body of Surapong Songsawad, 22, was found face-down in a Lumpini Park ditch after a student brawl. Trouble flared when vocational students from rival colleges clashed at the Suan Lum Night Bazaar anti-piracy concert. For over 30 years, ministers and academics have struggled to tackle the culture of student violence. Researcher Sudjai Sukha argues that the Education Ministry should encourage private and state schools to improve ties by organising joint activities. May I suggest a rumble in the car park of the Rama IV Tesco Lotus this Friday night - dress code casual, firearms optional?

Hi-tech terrorists beamed-up to face justice

Four suspected JI operatives have been arraigned in the Criminal Court for plotting terrorist attacks on westerners in the Kingdom. The Government repeatedly assures us that there is no terrorist threat in Thailand. Perhaps we'd better call The Discovery Channel. Bodies that both exist and don't exist at the same time are normally only observed in exotic particle physics.

Thai troops arrive to rebuild Iraq

The first batch of 21 Thai military technicians has arrived in Iraq to help US forces with reconstruction. There is no truth whatsoever in reports that they will be overseeing the construction of a new watering hole for weary US Marines - Desert Storm A-Go-Go.

What she says and what she means #1

Fancy swapping the misses for an Asian supermodel?

Meet sexy Mai. She is a model, but not in the way you might imagine. Like her leggy catwalk sisters, she has a fully articulated skeleton but her soft parts are actually made of silicone rubber. She's a RealDoll.

Sex with a rubber is encouraged, but could this be taking things too far? In most respects, Mai could never match up to the appeal of a genuine woman but she does have her advantages. You won't have to support 1,000 of her feckless relatives in Buriram and she will shut the fuck up. The sex might be better too. This is what shock-jock Howard Stern has to say:

Just like a real Asian babe, Mai will seriously damage your wealth. She costs $5999 plus shipping of $450 in the US and $800 internationally. You can get better acquainted with her at www.realdoll.com.

For an altogether more disturbing experience, visit www.realdollsex.com. Seeing your fellow man servicing a lump of plastic has all the erotic appeal of watching Margaret Thatcher taking a dump (definitely a minority interest), but a jolly prankster could find enough candid photos here to trick his mates into banging-off over an eraser.

Getting your rubber lover though Thai customs might not be so easy. You could say that she was a mannequin for your shop window but the combination of her massive wobbly knockers and big hairy minge would probably undermine the credibility of your story. So what's the worst that could happen?

• Continue reading "Fancy swapping the misses for an Asian supermodel?"

Egg-head proves Thai bar girls are all evil

A top mathematician from Bangkok's prestigious Chulalongkorn University revealed today that Thai bar girls are all evil.

The numbers certainly add up but it only confirms what western visitors have known for years.

Hire yourself a two ton fanny magnet

Stumbling home last night, I discovered that the wandering elephants of Bangkok are back on the streets again. In spite of a Government crackdown, it seems that they never went away and hundreds of them have been hiding behind lampposts for months.

Many people have a deep affection for the beasts and I couldn't resist looking into the pros and cons of keeping one as an exotic pet. Shifting the air-conditioning unit off my balcony would create the perfect habitat.

Herding a reluctant Jumbo several hundred miles down the busy highway from Surin is no longer the obstacle it once was. A number of enterprising Bangkok businessmen have got together to hire them out by the month for between B6,000 and B7,000 ($160/£100). Kilo for kilo, this works out cheaper than even the most low-maintenance Thai girlfriend.

• Continue reading "Hire yourself a two ton fanny magnet"

James Belushi gets hooked on virgin pussy

Oliver Stone's classic film Salvador has Boyle (James Woods) drunk at the wheel, selling the country's seedy virtues to Doc (James Belushi). Lets enjoy the scene again - but this time in Thai.

Boyle: You're gonna love it here, Doc.
Nai j? dt?¥rng ch?¥rp t?™e n?™e, Doc.

Doc: I'm going home, man.
Chan j? gl? p b?¢hn, p?™uan.

Boyle: You can drive drunk and get anyone killed for fifty bucks.
Nai mao l?°ir-o k? p r??t, chon kon dtai l?°ir-o j? i h?¢h-s?¨p rƒ?an d?¢i.

• Continue reading "James Belushi gets hooked on virgin pussy"

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